Beauty and the Beast: A New Spin
by Jefferson Adams
Summary: A multi-chapter rewrite of Beauty and the Beast- how it really happened. See the romances behind castle walls, and read the story in a new way you never thought possible. *All rights and characters go to Disney*
1. Chapter 1

There was once a handsome prince, more hella than any other in his era. He had dashingly long ginger hair that cascaded around him as though a mane of fire had been blessed upon him by a kiss of luck. His blue eyes spoke, for his mouth said little. The eyes seduced any woman, from the elderly widows on their deathbeds to the wailing newborn babes fresh from the womb. The prince was careful with this power, but took many a girl's maidenhead in his time. But one night, he sat alone at his castle. His servants bustled around, cleaning up from his day's conquests, both those from battlefield and those in bed.

But then, a knock came on the door. "Now what is this?" He pondered. He shifted his backside on his throne, feeling his tender butt cheeks rub up against the silk covering. "Mistress Alisa, please get the door." A long haired blond maiden of 13 climbed out from under the covers of one of the Prince's many beds to go answer the door. He watched the girl lustfully, as she trotted toward the door. Alisa was the betrothed of one of his new kitchen boys, a lad named Charles, but the prince got to take her maidenhood first. Charles's mother was one of the prince's chefs, and had always been a close friend of his father's. It was an impressive match for such a low born boy, but Alisa was a foreigner. But the Prince had liked that spicy, foreign taste. It was really Charles's fault to let her live with his family.

Alisa opened the door, and revealed a hideous old woman. Her snaggle tooth hung at an odd angle and her warts multiplied by the minutes. The prince screamed. "Why are you wearing crocs? Guards, execute her! She is wearing socks with them too, my gods!" Two tall buff men grabbed the old hag. "Take her to the guillotine!" The old woman did not struggle as she was dragged away. As the hideous hag was placed in the guillotine, Alisa came and sat down on the prince's lap.

Suddenly, Charles the kitchen boy ran in. "Alisa! How could you betray me like this? You're sick!" The prince stood up and took a stride toward Charles. "She was sick, so I gave her a taste of my 100% all beef thermometer! She had a fever all right- the hots for me!" Charles stood a half foot shorter than the prince, at only 14 years of age. The prince's 21 years brought him fully grown, but the lad Charles was still going through a growth spurt. Charles's blond hair curled around his ears and his blue eyes shone with tears. "What are you going to do about it?" Charles took a step back. His rage had driven to face the king but now the short boy was lost. "I-I-I'll fight you!" The prince chuckled. "Let's hope your mummy will still be ready to cook me dinner after this is over." Charles charged at the prince but the prince just punched him in the head, breaking his skull open. The pink stuffings spilt out over the floor. Alisa screamed and ran out of the castle.

The old woman ripped away from the guards and ran toward the boy. "You need to know the meaning of love!" The old woman screeched. "I can show you the meaning of love with this! BADA-BA-BOOM!" The prince waved his hands wildly and pointed at the joint of his legs. The old woman slapped him and wailed "No! True love! You have killed not for love, but for lust. That boy lies dead, but I shall give him a chance. Take this rose. If you cannot find true love before the rose dies, you will remain a beast forever." A red rose appeared floating in the air. "But a rose? It dies so quickly!" The old woman transformed into a beautiful young woman. The prince drooled slightly. "Then I guess you have very little time, Beast." The prince cocked his head, confused. "Beast? What do you mean, wench? I am a beautiful prince!" The woman waved her arms and the prince felt his once smooth skin erupt with ragged sheaves of fur. His back hunched, and his face twisted. He saw his servants contorting as well and the red rose rested on his throne. His vision blurred out, and he tried to scream. But only a roar echoed out through the halls.


	2. Chapter 2

The sunlight shone through the stain glassed window onto the sleeping girl's face. A short man with a wizened face tore open the door. "Belle! Belle! The bookstore is open! Ready to go?" The girl jolted up. Her brown hair settled in around her ears and she grinned. "Of course, Daddy!"

After Belle was dressed in her plain blue dress, she and her father walked into their small village. Men leaning in the alleyways whistled and catcalled to her. Her father, Maurice screamed back "You hooligans!" Belle stopped her father. "Daddy, that's okay. You don't have to do that." Maurice shook his head. "It's not right. It wasn't like that back in my day." Belle hugged her father. "But, Daddy, you'll arrange my marriage anyways. It doesn't matter what happens now." Maurice looked into his daughter's trusting chocolaty eyes. "But I will only arrange a marriage if you love him." Belle grabbed her father's hand and walked into the library. A gaggle of women watched from a nearby perfume store. "Is that the weird girl, Belle? Is she really in a library again?" One girl asked. Another chorused in, "Oh my god, I hate her so much." Suddenly, a tall, black haired youth strolled past the store. "Hello ladies. How you doin?" The girls all blushed. "Hi Gaston!" The girls tried to reach out to stroke his bulbous muscles, but he kept walking towards the bookstore. The girls huffed in frustration. "I bet he's after that girl Belle. She's pretty, but totally a whore, right girls?" The other girls nodded. "Totally."

Inside the bookstore, Belle climbed a ladder to reach a purple covered book. A silk bookmark fell lightly out of the book and her eyes tore across the page rapidly, her mind a tornado ripping out knowledge. Maurice walked over to her. "Belle, would you like that book?" Belle smiled, but shook her head. "Daddy, money is tight, we can't afford it." Maurice grinned back, took the book, and walked towards the desk. Belle heard a whisper behind her. "Now, something else that is tight is your booty. How about captain winky and I loosen that up for you?" She twisted around and tried to slap him, but Gaston stopped her wrist in midair. "Oh, go fuck yourself Gaston." Gaston winked at her and grabbed her waist again. "I was hoping you would do it for me, sweet cheeks." Belle jumped off the ladder. "Belle, you want a taste of my croissant, oui, oui? Baby, you should see how much it curves for you." Belle looked away disgusted as Gaston did pelvic thrusts against her. "Oh, come on Belle. Marry me! Our sons would be strong like me, and our daughters beautiful like you!" Belle scowled. "And all of them imaginary." Maurice walked over. "Ready to go Belle?" Belle glared at Gaston and walked out in a huff.

Gaston looked down and sighed at the rejection. A fuzzily headed fellow strolled over and saw Gaston. "Why don't you just give her up, Gaston? Go get it on with the many other girls who wish to take a bit of your stinky pickle?" Gaston grabbed the neck of the lad and felt his Adam's apple bounce back and forth. "Aren't I the best?" The boy nodded. "Yeah, but…" Gaston bitch slapped the trapped victim's face with the strength of a hundred men. . "Don't I deserve the best?" The boy shrieked in agreement and Gaston cut his throat with a convenient butcher's knife that was in his pocket. The townspeople continued walking, not noticing, as Gaston gathered the blood of his victim. "Ah, this will make a fabulous cologne for the fabulous me! Only Belle shall have my stinky pickle…in marriage. But for now…ladies!" Gaston's blood covered hands split, one opening the door and the other pocketing the blood bottle in his shirt pocket. Gaston fell into the arms of a dozen prostitutes, who dragged him into the brothel and went to work on him right away. Heavy breathing soon filled the room and Gaston felt the prostitutes sweaty bodies wriggling around him under the covers and his schlong impaled them all, for a full day before he rose again.


End file.
